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NCDD-DISCUSSION  February 2010, Week 4

NCDD-DISCUSSION February 2010, Week 4

Subject:

Re: Can we dialogue with a brick wall?

From:

"Seigfried, Ray" <[log in to unmask]>

Reply-To:

Seigfried, Ray

Date:

Mon, 22 Feb 2010 08:31:20 -0500

Content-Type:

text/plain

Parts/Attachments:

Parts/Attachments

text/plain (117 lines)

Howard,
Online Dialogue is difficult. Albert Mehrabian who did much research on
the process of communication basically found that face to face
conversations is the best way to communicate because body language is
the most important part of our over all ability to communicate. If he is
correct then having dialogue online is not very effective. Much is lost
in an online conversation.
Ray 

-----Original Message-----
From: NCDD Discussion List [mailto:[log in to unmask]]
On Behalf Of Howard Ward
Sent: Saturday, February 20, 2010 1:13 PM
To: [log in to unmask]
Subject: Re: [NCDD-DISCUSSION] Can we dialogue with a brick wall?


The continual sharing of insights and great suggestions here reveals
again the wonderful depth of personal dialogue experience in this group.


Putting our experience into words also reveals the limitations of
language. When one person describes one aspect of their personal
experience, these limited expressions in language always 'leave out'
every other aspect of their experience that is not mentioned
specifically in each suggestion. This limitation of language always
leaves lots of space for others to 'fill in some of the blanks' with
related experiences. And in this group, the additional suggestions don't
conflict with the original suggestion, they seem to actually provide a
description of some of this other experience that was 'left out' by the
limitations of language in the original statement.

As a person who's spent a number of years attempting to engage in
'written' or 'online' dialogue, as well as continuing to attend face to
face dialogues, I basically agree with Ray that the writing process
"lends itself to the sort of care and introspection to which Brad
alludes."

My experience suggests that many people are skeptical about being able
to really dialogue online. But I feel that how well dialogue works
always depends mostly on what the participants are able to give to the
process, whether it's online or face to face. Face to face dialogue, and
online dialogue, both offer an opportunity to explore together. Face to
face has the advantage of being in direct physical relationship, and
online has the advantage of 'slowing down the process' offering some
space to reflect and explore in greater depth. With online dialogue one
can actually take a question and explore the aspect of life that the
question is referring to, in ones direct life experience, for an entire
day. And then, at basically their own convenience, they can come back to
conveying the experential observations to the other dialogue
participants. 

And as usual, this description I'm offering here only describes a small
portion of the multifaceted dialogue experience.

Regards - Howard


-----Original Message-----
>From: John Backman <[log in to unmask]>
>Sent: Feb 20, 2010 6:56 AM
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: Re: [NCDD-DISCUSSION] Can we dialogue with a brick wall?
>
>> 1.  I have found that the best way to change attitudes is by being
willing
>> to be changed.  It's a dance - holding on to one's values, have
opinions
>> questioned, and possibly finding them wrong.
>
>Well and succinctly put. In thinking through the dynamics of dialogue,
I 
>find that certain aphorisms repeatedly come to mind--especially the
biblical 
>proverb "A soft answer turns away anger." It's so gratifying to watch
this 
>happen in real life: to see defensive attitudes soften when approached
by 
>someone with an open heart and mind.
>
>>2.  If we think we can't argue with a brick wall, we could very well
be
>>that brick wall if we are not careful.
>
>Indeed. This makes me wonder about the value of written dialogue--by
email 
>or letter. The time required by the writing process (assuming we're not
just 
>shooting off angry emails) lends itself to the sort of care and 
>introspection to which Brad alludes.
>
>John Backman
>The Dialogue Venture
>www.dialogueventure.com 
>
>---
>
>NCDD's discussion and announcement lists are generously provided by
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---

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